In Lab with Rajendra Panchal
- a collection of images, words, bodies
“आनंद, राग, नया, खोलो, भाव, बढ़ो, authenticity, ख़ुद के लिए, कोई सवाल?, fix मत करो, actor, स्पेस, body सोचती है, audience के लिए work कर रहा है क्या?, मैं समझा पाया?, देखो, सुनो, आपका imagination, करे एक बार?, कुछ नया लाओ, कोई सवाल?, meditation, उन से बचो जो images already है, emotionally naked, break, fixed, लम्बी practice, definition में फँसना, audience की कल्पना, और कुछ पूछना है?, wabi-sabi, पूछो, नुक़सान, fancy चीज़ो का dimension नहीं होता, सुंदरता art नहीं है, multiple truths, आपको जो पसंद हो वो करते जाओ, रास्ते अपने आप बनेंगे, ५ मिनट का ब्रेक, रियाज़, बहुत बड़ा world है, निष्ठा, नमन, बड़ा feel करो, being to doing, product और process, प्रकृति, विवेक, hesitation, life is art, magic, conscious to subconscious, creators, सामूहिक रूप से, मत डरिए, faith & belief, आपके अंदर ऊर्जा का स्रोत…
… मैं चीज़ों के सुंदर हो जाने के ठीक पहले की अवस्था का प्रेमी हूँ॥”
As I walked into the class today, emotions were at large. I could sense the energy. The charge. The heaviness. They had all been yelling at the top of their voices. The director wanted them to portray conflict - the internal and the external. Now, they sat quietly in their chosen corners with their eyes shut, meditating.
The exercise rattles you from within. Your very soul feels stifled and cheeks flush red. Even as a viewer, it isn’t an easy process to watch. Conflicts are never pretty.
We took a stroll to the garden nearby. Tea break. I asked Rajendra Sir how he survives the day post sessions such as these that exact such a toll mentally. “बाहर निकलना तो आना पड़ेगा वरना आप पागल हो जाओगे। Actor के लिए बेहद ज़रूरी है की वह एक observer बनें॥”
Today was day 20 in the studio space. For the past 20 days, students and actors gathered together to learn. The process of learning is deceptively deep; like a silent lake whose depth one cannot possibly fathom until one’s inside the waters. Once in, there is no visible end. The idea and space of learning is our training ground, our home, our battlefield, our sacred space, fertile soil for new ideas, new us to take birth.
What is important though is a teacher. In Rajendra Panchal, the participants found a mentor whose presence and wisdom has been a gift for the past month. It would be inadequate and unfair to abridge or summarise the residency and its process here in words. How do I pick? Words fail me here. This residency has been profound, intense and liberating. In a world where we have been creating, creating and creating, to stop, watch, think, to relook at our tools, mend then has been meditative.
He doesn’t act as much anymore. I have in fact never seen him perform. The only snippets I have seen of him on stage are from a documentary on his work ‘Katha Kavi Suryamal ki’. As we watched the film, I sat in awe, exchanging looks with others at my utter disbelief of his immersion into the process of creation and his mastery over his craft. It’s very unlike him to present plays worked over short time. ‘Vinoba Smaran’ took 2.5 years of his life; and of his actors. To him, practice is everything.
Everyday, the students would begin with riyaaz. Of their voice. Of bodies. Kamakshi would work with movements and dance. For a lot of them, this was a complete new chapter. Watching, visualising and adopting into their own bodies, felt different. The residency stressed on movements. Less words, more bodies moving. Each day we got together to watch some of the most incredible documentaries, films, screenings on art, artists and art practice; followed by discussions.
Discussions, dissent, debates - never for victory, but progress. Our sharing circles and discussion rounds were most lively. With sir throwing around wild ideas, theories, dismissing popular knowledge and quashing tiny egos. We would sit still long after the discussions were dismissed, lost in thoughts, with more questions and confusions. To which he would joyfully reply, “इन प्रश्नों में डूबे रहो। ढूँढो। जवाब अपने आप मिलेगा॥”
Creation.
It’s like taking a wild cat out of the hat. You never know what’s coming! Neither does he. The residency didn’t begin with an already formulated idea in mind. It was a simple gathering of people who wished to learn from someone ready to teach from his experiences. For Rajendra sir creation is his playground, a space where he can transform into a child. He wouldn’t know what he would work on the next day. Everyday was new and exciting. The group delved into the most incredible tools and tasks through the days; a majority of which didn’t seem to have a solid logic. But it’s a place that defies logic. Your set ideas and views, all picked, packed, sealed and thrown out the window. All that you believed in all your life gets questioned. And it’s not just theatre I am referring to. Such spaces go deep. You may just as apply these exchanges, these questions, these ideas to your life as you do to your craft. What happens then? What happens when your life ideas get shaken? Dwell in the idea, in the process. Answers will come.
Craft can be learnt. Art cannot.
Art will come to you. At a time you least expect it. But with faith. निष्ठा/
Does this residency end with a performance? I really cannot say. Neither can all those who have been coming diligently to the studio everyday. Because you see, it was never about the performance.
But if a performance does happen, you are most invited to come and be a part of the magic, mystery and mayhem of the process that was.
Participants : Ritesh, Shefali, Simran, Kamakshi, Neha, Rohit, Kalpna, Sunaina, Nimisha, Hiyudi, Krishneshi
Post Script: On his first day in the studio as a resident artist he said to me, “आपके स्पेस में कुछ अटक रहा है। मैं इसे charge नहीं कर पा रहा हूँ। पर मैं ज़रूर ढूँढ कर बताऊँगा आपको॥” I never remembered to ask him if he found it.